I skipped my mandarin class this morning to sleep in. I figured if there was a class to skip, it would be today's since we were just going to watch a couple of films. I slept in a bit, read the morning paper, and to assuage some of the guilt I felt from playing hooky, I spent some time copying Chinese characters for my assignment.
I still have quite the list of to-dos to get through this weekend, the most important of which is probably applying to a couple jobs. I've been growing increasingly dissatisfied job-wise and though I hadn't planned on it, I ended up having a chat with my manager about it during our regular status meeting earlier this week.
This wouldn't have been the first time we've had this conversation. Right about this time last year, I was job-hunting too, but I wasn't so jaded at the time that I was ready to leave for just any job. So I bided my time for the right role to come along, and since we underwent a couple of organizational changes which came with promises of more interesting work, I stuck around...but after waiting and seeing and waiting and seeing some more, I'm beginning to realize that these were just empty promises.
So before I become any more cynical and jaded about work, it's time to start looking again. The problem though is that I'm not sure what it is I want to be when I grow up. I don't know how to answer that ever-popular question, "So where do you see yourself in 5/10/years?" And I feel like I should have some inkling before going out to interviews.
I have a vague idea of what I'd like to do in my career - I've had a taste of it in my current role - there's just not enough of it to keep me busy on a consistent basis so that I feel like I'm developing and growing. But a role like mine is hard to come by in other companies because not very many have a group focused on strategy like ours does. So what am I looking for? Perhaps it's one of those things that I'll only know when I find it. Which stresses me out because I don't like not knowing. It does not jibe with my ISTJ personality damn it!
Anyway. I'm meeting S tonight for dinner. Perhaps talking out some of my frustration will help bring about some clarity.