Monday, December 04, 2006

LTR - Week 4: W1/R6 & Anger as Motivation

I got an email from my ex today. It was kind of unexpected but not really because it was around the holidays last year, about a month after we had broken up that I got a surprise phone call from him wishing me a Merry Christmas.

I saw it in my inbox this morning when I got to work. It was just 4 sentences, 4 short sentences that don't reveal anything about him except that I apparently still come up in his thoughts "from time to time." Why? What is the point of this email?

The last time we communicated did not end very well. He was scheduled to be in town for work and we were supposed to meet for a friendly "catch-up" brunch but he stood me up. I called him, and he was still out on the west coast. He knew the night before that his trip was cancelled but he didn't have the courtesy to call me. Apparently I called him before he had a chance to. He lamely apologized and I promptly hung up on him. Words were then exchanged via email and I thought I was never going to hear from him again.

And now this FREAKIN' email to say that he still thinks about me "from time to time."


OK. Perhaps I'm a little angry. Still.

I decided to take that anger and put it to good use. My Learn to Run Program had sort of stalled. I've been re-running Week 3 off and on for the last month because my first and last attempt at Week 4 resulted in cramps half way through the session so I gave up and stuck to Week 3.

But tonight, I felt like going for it and I did. I did the full 5 sets of W1/R6 and only broke out in a little bit of sweat. And I didn't even feel a cramp threaten! Normally, the hint of pain lurks in the shadows but today I was strong. I rocked the treadmill! AND! I broke 5K! I ran 5.2 km tonight! Yay for me!!!

I haven't replied yet because I don't know what to say. I don't want to ignore it because then he'd think I still cared...which I do, because if I'm honest he still comes into my thoughts "from time to time."

Damn him.


Anonymous said...

Of course you still think of each other from time 2 time. You were a part of each other's lives. I think of my former boyfriend all the time. He was my friend. My best friend for 9 years. But, nothing more than that...

phoenix said...

I agree...the rational me is completely aware that it's normal. But I'd much rather he thought of me from time to time and not tell me about it because it inevitably stirs up emotions that I'd prefer weren't stirred up.

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