Girls' Day Off

I took today off to spend with S who's on March Break.  We scheduled massages and mani/pedis at Vika Spa which were just OK.  My massage was actually very disappointing as the masseuse I had kinda sucked - it felt like she was just moving the massage oil around (and there was A LOT of it) and asking for more pressure resulted in more of the same. 

Our spa appointments were followed up by full afternoon tea at the Windsor Arms - which was again, OK.  They tout themselves as a luxury hotel catering to stars and other dignitaries and for that, I would have expected better service overall.  The staff weren't rude or anything, it just wasn't as polished as I would have expected.

The tea was super-filling...it came with 3 different finger sandwiches, 4 pieces each, and 4 gigantic scones - literally the size of my fist.  They looked dry but were surprisingly tender and dear I say fluffy.  If I had the appetite, I would probably have eaten the 2nd but there were still petit fours and berries with whipped cream (which I'd totally forgotten about!) to eat.

As to the pretty petit fours - clockwise from the top we have a lemon meringue, a rich chocolate torte, an almond-y present and a coffee-flavoured cake suped-up with what had to be liquer, it was so strong!  

Finally, what's a girls day without shopping?  Among others, we hit MO851 to check out their leather jackets.  With this visit and the stop at Rudsack recently, I feel I've done sufficient due diligence to determine that Mackage's Ming jacket is the one I want.  Now if only it'd just go on sale already!!

Oh, and what's a visit to Yorkville without a stop at Anthropologie?  I don't usually look at belts but this sparkly gem, aka the Enchanting Eyes Belt caught my eye so it came home with me:

What burns is that it's $14 more in Canada then it is in the US.  CAD is above par right now.  Granted it's a more recent event but our dollar has been flirting with parity for quite some time now so why this ridiculous discrepancy?  I may just return it to buy it again online, ship it to Buffalo and have my brother go pick it up on one of his cross-the-border jaunts!

If only...

...it wasn't for the dealbreaker. But alas. There is, so there is no "us" for wL and I. It doesn't stop him from being thoughtful though. We went to the Jason Mraz concert together a couple Saturdays ago, and he offered to make me a copy of his mixed cd after I had mentioned that I wasn't familiar with the songs from his second disc...but instead of doing that, he got me the original. Very sweet, non?

Too bad about the dealbreaker though.

Sunday Brunch

I've been in my place just over a year now and hosted the last of my housewarming brunches with A&M, W&K and J&M. We used to spend a lot of time together over martinis so it was lovely of J to give me these pretty glasses:

I made a strata based on this recipe with turkey kielbasa, red peppers, broccoli and mushrooms and paired it with this yummy arugula salad with lemon-parmesan dressing which was super-easy. This will definitely be added to my repetoire of regular recipes.

Happy Birthday to Me

It's weird to think that another year has past...the birthday blues haven't hit as hard as they usually have...maybe because I've been too busy settling in to my place to think too much about turning 32. Jeez. I'm 32.

So what's changed in the last year?

* I'm an aunt to an adorable Piglet who has brought me and my sister closer then we have been since our father died;
* I ran my first 10K;
* I managed someone for the first time and have decided I don't think I like managing people...;
* I worked on a few big projects that recently launched and it's rather exciting to see the concept become reality...now we'll have to see if they're financially successful and as I modelled them;
* My grandfather is gone; and
* I've set up my own home and am slowly getting used to living alone - something I've never done before having always had roommates in school.

Hmm...in reviewing this list, there's not much romance - and I've decided that that's something I'm going to have to make an effort towards. I used to think that my friends would be enough...but I'm beginning to see now that everyone has coupled off that Mom is right...it really is important to have a partner and companion in life. Let's see what this new year will bring...

Matchmaker, Matchmaker, name me a bulb...

S & S have been wanting to set me up with F since last year, when I met him briefly at W's birthday bash. I remember thinking at the time that he was kinda cute but rather quiet. He didn't stay very long as he and S were heading off to a show - he's very much into music and has a widely-read blog about same - and because S went off and got married in India over the holidays, nothing came of it and I forgot what F looked like over time.

Anyway, S was at S&W's wedding party a few weeks ago and the interest to set us up again was revived. Something was supposed to be arranged for next week but it was sort of pushed up a week so that we ended up sort of meeting again last night over a karaoke mic in Koreatown.

Now, karaoke isn't exactly the most conducive environment in which to get to know someone, particuarly when both of the people involved are shy by varying degrees...and there was little to no alcohol involved to provide a little Dutch courage...so I'd have to say that last night was a bust. We'll see if the original intent to re-introduce us in a more chatty environment, like say, over dinner, materializes next week.

And on a random note, after a late night out singing, I stayed over at S&W's since S and I had plans for a run this morning. We were walking by her neighbour's front yard when I spied these purple flower-balls below and remarked aloud about how I liked them because they looked so wild:


I didn't know what they were called and I didn't see the neighbour because he was hiding behind the foilage of the trees in his yard, but he heard me and called out that they were called alliums. So now I know. :)

She came with an agenda

I caught up over dinner with a few of my friends who I met in the CMA program, a couple of whom I haven't seen since New Year's Eve. G's wife E, is 5 mos pregnant and I'm so glad for them because the last time I had met E for lunch, she'd mentioned that they were trying.

But the most fun was C, who came with an agenda to set not only me but wL up. She played a good game, answering all the questions we inevitably peppered her with - I actually didn't have to do much work question-wise because E and G were all over it on my behalf. C was pretty good at selling her candidates and defending her position - although the guy she wants to set me up with likes to shop at Holt Renfrew...which is fine...except I wonder if he's high maintenance...i.e. is he vain and superficial? Assuming like attracts like, he can't be if he's best friend's with C's husband. Anyway, we'll see. We asked for pictures and what do you know, when I got home, eager C has them waiting in our inboxes! :)

Will let you know if anything comes of it...coincidentally, S asked me recently if I was still interested in being set-up with a guy that I'd actually met briefly last year who, at the time, I thought was kinda cute but over time, had forgotten what he looked like. So we'll see.

12 drinks later...

I woke up this morning around 8, fully-clothed on my bed with my make-up still on and couldn't remember how I ended up that way. So let's back up.

It was S&W's wedding party at a bar/lounge on Queen West last night and it was open bar. Needless to say, I overindulged, beginning with a glass of pinot grigio and following that with martini after martini...there was a shot that rounded out the night which I am only aware of because there's photo evidence. sigh.

After wakening, confused, I went to the bathroom where I had clearly gotten sick the night before...after cleaning up my mess, I contemplated taking a shower but decided that wasn't a good idea so changed and went back to sleep again and didn't wake up until noon. I spent some time cleaning up the house - brilliant idea while hung over, non? - and tried eating afterwards since I was a bit hungry but it didn't sit well so after praying to the porcelein goddess, I went back to bed again. I woke up again around 4 and was only just able to stomach food.

wL was my date/DD and I remembered telling him the 2 stories I learned earlier in the day in my mandarin class on our drive tot he party, both of which were very a propos given the events of the day.

The first is the story of the origin of the Chinese character, Double Happiness, which is symbolic of weddings. There once was a poor scholar-poet named Wang An Shi who was travelling from afar to Beijing to write the Imperial exams. He happened to stop in a town in which lived a very prosperous family with an intelligent daughter who was doted on by her parents. So much so that her parents indulged her in her wish to marry someone she deemed intelligent enough for her. Her test came in the form of an incomplete rhyming couplet which was traditionally hung outside the entrances of homes. She wrote the first couplet and vowed that she would marry the man who completed the couplet in a satisfactory manner.

Wang An Shi took up the challenge and in so doing, succeeded in winning her hand. But he did not marry her. Instead, he proceeded to Beijing to sit the exams and after coming out the top of his class and thereby raising his family's status and riches, he returned to the town to marry the girl he had won. It was on that night that he created the character Double Happiness, the first happiness he was celebrating was his passing the Imperial exams and bringing honour to his family, and the second happiness was his good fortune in marrying a girl of wealth and intelligence.

The second story was related to the narrative of our latest lesson, which has to do with a drunk boyfriend. Our teacher was telling us that in Chinese culture, drinking doesn't have the same negative connotations as it does in Western culture - the belief is that the truth will out under the influence of alcohol and the acid test for trustworthiness is whether or not someone is willing to get drunk with you because this proves that they have nothing to hide.

I've clearly been practicing this, at least one-sidedly since I have only ever gotten completely trashed with people I know and trust who I know won't take advantage of my vulnerability. Anyway, this is my irrational way of saying that wL is someone I trust to take care of me, and he's apparently willing to take on that responsibility of friendship, even when given an out.

So, thank you again, wL, for being such a good friend.

Print mad am I

I was wondering about what to get S&W for a wedding gift...and stumbled upon this print by Douglas Wilson over at Keep Calm Gallery: I like that this series is printed on vintage maps of the United Kingdom - appropriate since both S&W are anglophiles at heart - W having lived and worked their for 4 years before S joined him there for his 5th before returning to Toronto. Besides, I think they'd appreciate the irony.

Oh, and I'm thinking of this one for me, printed on a map of Toronto, if it's available:

I've been corresponding with Hayley over at Keep Calm for the last week in trying to find the appropriate background map for the 2 prints and she's been super-helpful and patient. I also like this and this but I must pace myself...for a limited time only there's a surprise bonus print with every purchase of a Douglas Wilson print so I wonder what they will be...?

Would have rather stayed home...

I went out for dim sum today with some of my so-called friends...so-called because some of them are the kind of friends with whom you share a history and even though you have little if nothing in common anymore, you feel like you have an obligation to say yes and make an appearance even though you really don't care to be there because the friend that you do care about made the effort in arranging the get-together.  

That is all.

S&W's big secret

My best friends S&W arrived back from vacationing in Turks & Caicos last night and messaged me this afternoon about getting together for dinner tonight.

While we were waiting by the entrance for our table to be set, they smiled at each other and W announced, "Before we take our gloves off, we should tell you something."

So I looked from him to her and said, "You got engaged!"

W smiled and shook his head and told S to tell me but she couldn't so I said, "You got married?!"

And they smiled and nodded.

I wasn't really surprised because S had always said that she didn't want a big to-do, and W always sort of struck me as rather ambivalent about marriage. Regardless, I'm happy they did it the way they wanted it done - just the two of them on the beach at dusk without the pomp and circumstance.

They'd been planning this since the summer without a word to anyone. W's dad only just found out yesterday, they'll be telling their mothers tomorrow, and the rest of the friends via email.

It struck me after I'd heard the news that the scene was very familiar - when S&W told me that they were a couple (after having been friends for years) it was by phone together when they were abroad over the new year about 4 or 5 years ago. S couldn't say the words then either, despite W's prodding so I had to guess and he had to confirm for me then too. Funny how some things don't change.

They are among my favourite people in the world and I couldn't be happier for them. Congratulations, guys!

Finally, the weekend.

It's been a hellishly long week. I worked late every night this week and still brought work home save for Tuesday night, when the consultants on one of my projects took us out for a fat cat dinner at George. The project working team was established in the spring and I joined not even two weeks ago in the latest phase, so I lucked out on this dinner - the food was great and the wine just kept on coming.

Anyway, after the crazy-busy week of meeting after meeting, I had the added stress of a presentation to give to my group in our monthly status meeting yesterday morning. Public speaking and presentations have never been my strong suit and I was nervous and anxious before and during but it turned out better than I expected. I had 30 minutes on the agenda and followed my scripted notes fairly closely. I shared with my group the learnings from the course I took in the summer on building business cases and the material generated more discussion than I had anticipated, so 30 minutes became 60. I wasn't quite sure how the presentation went but the feedback I got from my big boss in particular was good, so I'm glad I did it.

More meetings followed after that and finally the work day was over. It'd been a long while since my last condo update and since S&W moved midtown, I don't linger downtown after work or have a reason to head down on the weekends to check up on it - never mind that I've been swamped of late.

So, when S suggested midweek that we have dinner Friday night to catch up, I asked that we meet downtown so I could stop by the site to see what's what. I hung out at Chapters to unwind with some fashion and gossip mags until S called to say that she was on her way down to meet me at BLVD. Here's the latest on the site, on approach from the east:


...and from the west:

Still no walls yet, but it's coming along.

S, W & I had a drink in the second floor lounge at Czehoski and then headed over to its sister restaurant, Coca, across the street for dinner. It was so nice to be able to relax with friends and not have to think about work for awhile, even though I brought it home with me for the weekend. sigh.

I woke up this morning and practiced for my mandarin oral test today and then went to class, for some reason, completely exhausted. In fact, I'm pretty sure I looked like hell, and volunteered to test first so I could get outta there and head home to nap at first opportunity...which I ended up not doing after all. Instead I spent the afternoon sorting through all the crap on the loveseat and dresser in my room and now I'm vegetating in front of the TV watching the third season of The West Wing on DVD because all the shows I'd taped during the week were messed up because of the delayed change to Standard Time. Grr. So no Gossip Girl, no NCIS, no Private Practice, and most importantly, no Ugly Betty. I be sad. :(

So adorable...

I met N's new baby girl M today and she is the sweetest, tiny little thing. Her skin was so soft and her feet and hands so small! And N, who gave birth 2 weeks ago doesn't look like she was pregnant at all, except for the bigger boobs. :)

It's lovely to see N&G as parents. I've always considered them as the ideal for a marriage - granted, I don't have very many close married friends, but they were high school sweethearts and managed to grow together rather than apart. And while their relationship has had its challenges, they've managed to work things out rather than give up at the first sign of trouble, which says a lot in this age of disposable everything.

After spending a couple hours cooing over M, wL and I went for another run. I managed to shave another 15 seconds off my time by coming in at 28 min and 45 sec. AND! I was able to run with greater ease today - it didn't seem like I had to work as hard to keep up with wL, even though I did trail him by about 50 metres consistently in the last couple kilometres, I didn't feel the hint of a stitch until about 3km in and even then, I was able to breathe through it.

We're hoping to schedule in another run during the week if the weather's good - the forecast calls for rain Mon/Tues and I don't run in the rain - and then I'm on my own for a couple weeks because he's off on a trip to the Middle East, spending 16 days on a tour covering Israel, Jordan and Egypt. :(

I knew why he called

My friend J, who rarely calls, left me a voicemail around 7:30pm. I was surprised to see his number in my missed call list and when I stopped to wonder why he called, I thought to myself...mmm...maybe he's calling to tell me he's engaged.

I called him back about 15 minutes ago and lo and behold, I was right. He's engaged. To a girl that I don't like. Which doesn't matter because he's the one in the relationship with her. The problem is that from early conversations, it seemed like he was settling.

So I asked him how he knew she was the one, a question I often ask of the engaged - and after trying to give me the usual "you just know" bullshit which I didn't accept, he proceeded to give me, in his words, a clinical answer, which included the comparison to one's checklist of qualities in an ideal mate, agreement in fundamental values, and something about not having to feel like you had to talk yourself into the proposal and having no doubts.

He sounded happy and I'm glad for him. But I still don't like her - and it's not because I want him for myself.

Friendships are not transitive.

Another year older...

Today is my 31st birthday and it was a pretty good day. I looked cute - I wore the transitional skirt I bought last month with a brown v-neck T and my brown wedge heels that have a velvet flower motif - and it was a good hair day, although I had a few break-outs thanks to my facial from Saturday night.

The commute to work was not so good though - our offices moved from midtown to downtown while I was away on vacation so what used to be a 20-35 minute drive to work depending on the traffic is now a 25-35 minute drive to the subway parking lot, followed by a 10 minute walk to the station and about an hour's ride on the train to my office, which is, thankfully, right upstairs from my stop. That's right folks - my commute has tripled and while I was actually looking forward to the commute initially because I had time again to read the morning paper, I am now officially over it and it is the bane of my existence.

Anyway. I got into work around 9am and about 15 minutes in, my group gathered round me for a "meeting" at which time they presented me with my birthday gift - a gift bag full of fun (and purple!) dollar store finds - de rigeur on my team. I then checked my email and was greeted with, among other messages, a lovely e-card from my cousin, A, in London. We had made a date earlier in the week for a long chat Sunday afternoon, but her friend arrived unexpectedly for a visit from Amsterdam so she called me earlier that morning to tell me. We talked for a few minutes and she never fails to crack me up - "We don't want to draw attention to getting older, but we'll be hot when we're 60 so it doesn't matter anyway."

I was all set to have a very low-key birthday this year when my friend J, who I've grown apart from the last couple years, called me out-of-the-blue last week to ask if I had any plans to celebrate my birthday. He wanted to take me out for a drink, and then took it upon himself to co-ordinate with everyone else - which is extraordinary since it's usually my job to get everyone together.

In hindsight, I suspect it's because his girlfriend was still abroad - we, the friends, don't like her, the girlfriend, very much. She's...different...and when he's with her, he's different. So we all got together for dinner and drinks at The Rushton last Friday and it was fun. J was very much like the old J that we knew and loved, and R brought his new girl out for us to meet. She seemed super-sweet and friendly and we all liked her...so it got me thinking why none of us seemed to like V, J's girl very much, when we've all liked R's last two girlfriends...could it be because J settled? There's much back story here that I shan't get into, but I suspect that has a lot to do with it. He mentioned that he's shopping for a ring so he's well on his way to following his lifescript.

He drove me to my car afterwards and we sort of talked about it...we're nowhere near as close as we used to be and I wonder if he's making a mistake because I never imagined him with someone like her - that is, someone I didn't like - but he seems content in his relationship and who am I to question him now when I haven't been present in his life, nor he in mine the last few years?

I'm usually hit by a bout of the birthday blues in the weeks leading up to today because I take stock and reflect on my life to date...I wonder about the choices I've made and where I'm headed...and this year, the blues haven't been so blue.

When I think about it, I've had a full year, despite the ups and downs: I'd like to think that I'm more accepting about the things I can't change and I'm learning to let go because sometimes it hurts to hold on. I'm fortunate and grateful for the family and friends in my life, and I value the experiences they have brought to me - like hiking the Inca Trail and camping for the first time ever. Who would've thunk that that would ever happen? I'll leave the self-reflection at that...and turn now, to one of my favourite subjects - FOOD!

It's been my wish the last few years to have dinner at home. My mom and Uncle N. are great cooks and they never fail to serve up a fantastic seafood feast on my birthday. On tonight's menu was Vancouver crab, clams, oysters, prawns, fish, chicken, and one of my favourite soups, literally called "monk jumps over the wall" in Cantonese, because the story goes that the vegetarian monk was so tempted by the lovely aroma of the soup that he jumped over the wall to taste it. My mom's version of this soup had chicken, pork, conpoy, shark fin, dates, shitake mushroom, conch and ginseng. And damn was dinner ever good!

My mother asks if I'd like to invite friends over to join us, but I always decline because there is no need for my friends to see me eat like a savage. My sister and I are big on crab and when we're all together for dinner, we're usually the last ones at the table, sucking out the last bit of crab meat. My brother's too lazy and impatient for crab but he gave good game tonight - "I don't want you to have all the crab." Isn't he such a sweeite? I wasn't completely savage today though - while my left hand was greasy with crab sauce, my right hand held my chopsticks, which is quite the improvement from my experience last year. So while I may not necessarily be wiser with age, I'm at least a neater eater.

Pregnant bellies and pretty books

So I gave up waiting around 1:30 this morning and went to bed. My sister finally arrived around 2:15 - her knock roused me from my sleep. My mother let her in the house and I got up long enough to give her a welcome hug and then went back to bed to the sounds of my mother making a late night snack for her as she took a shower to wash away her travel.

I can't explain how very weird it is to see my little sister big and pregnant - and for 4 months, she's BIG. Anyway, I had to feel her belly this morning (having never felt a pregnant belly before - or at least, not that I can remember) and I was surprised by how soft it was, cushy-like. I was expecting it to be a lot harder. Apparently her belly gets harder through the day as she eats...SO, SO WEIRD!

She had an 11am flight to Thunder Bay to spend time with the in-laws at a cottage for the next week so we went for early morning dim sum with Mom before I had to go off to mandarin and she had to catch her flight.

Class was blah - the more I think about it, the more disappointed I feel that the focus isn't practical conversation as my last two classes were...but enough about that. Back to food.

I met S&W for brunch at Xacutti after class and it was so yummy. I had the warm cardamon biscuits with whipped honey butter and the cinnamon apple pancakes. I usually prefer my brunch savoury but I was seduced by the heavy scent of cinnamon while I was waiting for our table to be set...mmmmm, cinnamon.

We wandered along College for a bit before heading back to King and Spadina where I wanted to stop at MEC and Europe Bound to pick up a sleeping bag and backpack for my upcoming trip. I ended up not getting the sleeping bag but I did get my big-ass backpack though. I'd gone to get fitted for one Thursday evening and went back to pick it up. More window-shopping ensued and I found a couple beautiful little coffee table books I coveted, and after checking on Amazon.ca, they're expected to arrive on my doorstep in the next 4-6 weeks:

Three Trees Make a Forest
"The three artists featured in Three Trees Make a Forest are professional illustrators with a penchant for travel and ambitious side projects in books and Comics. Ronnie Del Carmen is a story artist, character designer and illustrator at Pixar Animation Studios in California. Del Carmen has also worked in comics with DC and Dark Horse. Tadahiro Uesugi is a world renowned illustrator, based in Japan who creates intuitive drawings of landscapes, characters and urban scenery, all with an amazing sense of color and texture. Enrico Casarosa is also a story artist at Pixar and is the founder of Sketch Crawl, a worldwide marathon sketching event. Most of the work found in Three Trees Make a Forest was originally created for an exhibition of the same name at Nucleus Gallery in Alhambra, CA." - Gingko Press

The Age of Feminine Drawing
"The ascendance of feminine illustration in the arts & design is a development that has had an enormous effect on today’s visual landscape, not only influencing but often driving contemporary aesthetic practices and trends in all disciplines. Highlighting the prevalence and importance of the female hand in our modern culture, The Age of Feminine Drawing showcases works from some of the most talented male & female artists in the world whose work underscores this influence and is certain to leave a lasting imprint on their respective fields." - Gingko Press

We finished our afternoon with a stop at a running shop on Queen West where I picked up a pair of running capris and I've been home ever since. I suspect it's going to be an early night tonight. At the very least, I'm going to get by butt to yoga tomorrow at 11:30. If I'm feeling ambitious, maybe I'll get up early enough to go for a run before that since I've been a slug since my great run last Sunday. This will give me a chance to actually use one of my recent purchases. It is absolutely NO FUN to spend money on tangible goods and not be able to use them, right away.

Happy Birthday WC!

My friend WC turns 31 today.

We met in university and my earliest, most vivid memory of him is at the bowling lanes. A group of us had gone out bowling and he'd sat down against the wall with his head back and fallen asleep.

I have another vivid memory of him a few years later at Borders in Chicago. The two of us had driven down to visit our friend J for a few days and we were browsing in the magazine section at waiting for J to get off work and meet us. The next thing I know, our birthday boy was sitting cross-legged, against the wall, asleep.
I realize I'm probably not painting a very flattering picture, but these memories just make me smile. I've admired his amazing napping abilities ever since.

Best wishes, guy! :)

Quirkyalone am I

One thing I learned: Anuptaphobia is the fear of being single.

One thing I'm grateful for: My friend at work who gave me a pep talk via email after I found out I didn't get the job I interviewed for.

One thing that made me laugh: My mother and brother - first because she took what I thought was a sure bet that my brother wouldn't drink the soup, my brother because he proved me wrong, and my mother again because she wouldn't take my money when I tried to pay up.

I've been invited to the 3rd annual Valentine's Party hosted by my friend's girlfriend. I didn't go last year and I don't plan on going this year either. I realize that I'm probably being a snob and that I should probably give her a chance because she's at least making an effort to keep in touch and get to know us, where my friend has not.

However. I have still not forgiven her for adding my email - without my permission, I might add - to a mailing list for some pseudo-lonely hearts meet-up group soon after my ex and I broke up. Perhaps she meant well, maybe that's how she got over her break-ups, by going out and meeting new people right away. But really, who does that to someone who's pretty much a stranger to them? And without consulting her boyfriend. I talked to him about it afterwards and he told me he found out after the fact and told her that she shouldn't have done that. I got periodic emails from the group for a few months after that and finally put a stop to them by marking them as spam. I didn't think I held grudges, but I do now.

Last year, the party was for singles only and my friend who had gone, said there were games. I have nothing against games...if they're board games, that's cool. But made up games that reek of cheesy get-to-know-you "say something nice about the (strange) person sitting next to you" type of games I'm not down with.

And this 'do is called Anuptaphobia Arrest. I was online with my other friend earlier, who asked if I was going. I said no...and we got onto what anuptaphobia means...I really didn't care, but he googled it, and it apparently means the fear of being single(!) Heh. I wonder if she's projecting?

Funny thing too, is that I got a message today from the Edmontonian I went out on a date with earlier this month asking me for my number again because he'd neglected to save it to his cellphone. My first thought was why? I think it's pretty clear from our interaction (or lack thereof) since then that neither of us is interested in the other, so what's the point of me giving him my number? I chose to ignore his message as I was at work.

I have no fear of being single. In fact, I've never been one of those people who has to be in a relationship - I completely identified with the term quirkyalone when I first heard of it. Anyway, given all the demands on my personal time lately with my business, classes and the on-going job hunt, my time is very valuable and I don't want to waste it by spending it with someone I'm not particularly interested in - life's too short.

I believe love happens when you least expect it so I'm going to carry on doing things that I feel enrich my life and experience. I will not be one of those sad, desperate souls who puts everything on hold. I think in this case, the harder one tries, the more likely it is that one's quest will end in failure.

Shared assumptions vs. shared lives

"Perhaps being old friends didn't mean very much, they shared assumptions rather than lives."

I came across this line while reading The Line of Beauty today and it struck a chord because I've drifted apart from a couple friends that I thought I would be close with forever. It's a shame because I've known both of them for at least 17 years - that's more than half my life!

I suppose I've noticed that we'd been drifting apart for quite some time now - but it was only this past holiday season, that it occurred to me that I don't really know what to talk to them about anymore.

I've always played the role of social coordinator so perhaps I'm partly at fault for having spoiled everyone. I've stepped back from this role in the last year mostly because I feel that they've taken me for granted...and as a result, we don't see each other. I've noticed that if I don't pick up the phone to call, or send an email to say, "hey, what's going on?" it will be months before we see each other again. Case in point: we got together as a collective over the holidays, but the last time we saw each other before that was my birthday (which I organized) in September. How sad is that?

Friendships are like any other relationship - they require regular maintenance. I think the main thing that has kept us together for so long is our shared history. But people grow and change from new experiences and if they don't grow together, they grow apart. And that's what we've done. We don't have any shared recent history, and while I realize I can change that, part of me is apathetic, and the other is resentful because it takes two and I'm just tired of putting in all the work.

Que sera sera.

2 Wishes

via

One thing I learned: Friendships change and sometimes, not for the better.

One thing I'm grateful for: My brother, who picked up a tub of Oreo ice cream for me while he was out on a snack run.

One thing that made me laugh: My masseuse, J, who tried to cajole me into finishing her Xmas shopping while she was working out all the kinks in my shoulders.

I went to see The Nutcracker last night at the Four Seasons Centre, a truly fantastic venue. To be honest, the ballet was sort of secondary, as I'd seen James Kudelka's version of The Nutcracker twice before. Our original intent was to try and get tickets for Sleeping Beauty, which I had never seen before. We weren't able to get tickets for the night we wanted but we still wanted to see the new opera house, so we decided on the National's annual Christmas production.

And it didn't disappoint. Among my favourites was the dance of the Snow Queen and her Icicles, but especially the pair of dancing bears - the one on pointe and the other on roller blades. There were a lot of kids in the audience last night - the ballet is staged to entertain the children, after all - and crazy, but true, I rather look forward to one day bringing my kids to see this production and seeing it through their eyes. Will they love the dancing bears as much as I do?

We met friends for drinks afterwards and it was rather...lame. I've known this for some time now, but it occured to me last night that I have very little in common with a pair of friends that I thought I would be friends with forever. We certainly have a lot of history...but that's not really enough to sustain a friendship...particularly when, in hindsight, the friendships were a matter of convenience for them. I used to get rather upset about it, but it is what it is...c'est la vie.

I've got to get ready to meditate now. Ya...you read right. I'm going to meditate. My energy-healing cousin is going to give me a healing tomorrow and my homework is to think about 2 wishes and how I'm going to go about making them come true.

I will try and "feel the wishes" in my meditation and ask them to reveal themselves to me. I was given instructions to "trust the energy," to "just be in your body, not your mind." I'm still not sure how this is going to work...but I will give it a go. Wish me luck.

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From the Stacks Challenge Update: I finished The Princess Bride, and am now onto The Line of Beauty. One down, 4 more to go...

Soho and real friends

Our last full day in NYC. Brunch at The Brooklyn Diner on 43rd near Broadway which opened just a week ago and then off to Soho for some more shopping.

Our first stop was at Ann Taylor Loft, where I did the most damage volume-wise. I've been wanting a tuxedo suit for a couple years now and ended up buying one here. The jacket is a perfect fit and the pants have traditional satin stripe up the sides. So elegant and smart.

I LOVE Ann Taylor pants because they fit me perfectly, so I ended up combing their sale racks for pants in my size and bought all the wide-leg dress pants in my size. The bonus? An additional 20% off the lowest ticketed price! I also bought a fantastic Minnie Rose cashmere kimono shawl - so soft and so must-have.

I found LOTS of other beautiful things that I coveted...like the jacket at Calvin Tran with a satin tie; the pretty chiffon dresses at Rebecca Taylor; and the japanese kimono silk dreses at the store that I don't know the name of....so lovely.
But my favourite? My favourite store was the calm, fragrant oasis of Nancy Koltes at Home where I spied the pink cashmere robe to the right. I sat in the comfy armchair opposite to rest my weary feet and to just take in the ambience. I love how everything in the store was edited. I admired the lovely robe, which would have been crazy for me to buy because I don't use robes at home anyway, besides which, I think it was $400+. sigh.

By about 5:30pm, we were tired of shopping...and looking forward to dinner. I'd made reservations at Cafe Espanol on Bleecker at Sullivan for 7 and we ended up arriving early. I'd discovered it a couple years ago while in NYC with my cousin A. I was looking forward to this meal all weekend. Their paella marinara with the half lobster was as good as I remembered, and we also ordered a lobster and shrimp in garlic sauce. It was pretty decadent considering it was just us 2 girls but it's such great value! Lobster and big juicy shrimps for $23? You can't beat that! And their sangria! The best sangria I've ever had with the fruits drowned in brandy overnight. :) We lingered over the sangria for more than an hour after paying the bill and ended up ordering flan for dessert and staying another hour.

We had a vague intention of going out to a jazz club but after making it back to our hotel, we ended up just staying in for the night. We packed and we chilled. I don't see W very often, in fact, the last time we saw each other was 2 Xmas' ago on holiday in Hong Kong, and we don't correspond regularly, but she's one of those special friends that it doesn't matter how much time has passed since we last saw each other, we can pick up like it was just yesterday since we last chatted.

The weekend was far too short. We're already thinking about our next girls' weekend...maybe it'll be NYC again...perhaps I'll meet her there when she's back on the east coast on a buying trip...or maybe it'll be somewhere warm where we can loll on the beach (though I'm not very good at that!) or perhaps it'll be gay Par-ee....? Regardless of the where, we know it'll be fun with lots of shopping, despite our best intentions - we are each others' good luck shopping charm. So good, but also, so dangerous. :)

(The Princess Bride is on TV, and despite being really tired, I have to watch til it ends at 3am)