Sunday, September 06, 2009

What do you do

I spent the last couple hours on Skype talking to my cousin's now ex-fiance. I called me to tell me she had something to tell me and I thought it was that she was pregnant. But instead, it was to say that she and M had broken up after a month-long seperation. He essentially told her that after 12.5 years together, he didn't love her in that way any more and that she should move on with her life.

So what do you do when you break up with your best friend? I thinks that M is confused - she's asked him for answers, explanations as to how he could fall out of love with her and the best he can do is to say that the passion isn't there which we both wonder, is he being unrealistic to think that a relationship maintains the same level of passion throughout the life of the relationship? Doesn't it mellow out and settle down? We would both think so.

I thought that she had found the love of her life - that they were in a comfortable place - but maybe it's that comfortable feeling that was their undoing.

I'm certainly not taking sides - I love them both having met them the same time in 1999 (M and I didn't grow up together, he being in Amsterdam and me in Toronto) - but I can't lie and say I don't sympathize with how confused I feels having been in a similar position a few years ago when my ex broke things off.

I really hope they work things out because they seemed so good together....but if they don't, I hope they're able to let each other go without inflicting too much unintentional damage...

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