I just got off the phone with my cousin in Amsterdam, and it's funny how I was dishing out relationship advice that I should have been heeding myself all along.
Long, complicated story short: she broke up with him and he's not ready to let go....which is essentially the position I was in a year ago. The difference though is that they live in the same city while my relationship was handicapped by geography as well as time zone...the former, of course, is far more conducive to relationship post-mortems in cases where one party wants to try to work things out.
I know it's dangerous to be giving out relationship advice, but he called me twice before finally getting through to me so how could I not be there for him when it's clear he needs someone to talk to at 3am?
From the outside looking in, it sounds like she's already left the relationship and there is no going back to try to make things work. My advice was for a clean break--if she really thinks he's the one, then who's to say that she won't still be there when he comes back from working abroad? Who's to say that he won't meet someone else? If they were meant to be together, they will be together.Things as they stand now are too complicated and I've lately become a believer in the KISS school of thought--Keep It Simple, Stupid.
So a CLEAN BREAK now so that maybe, just maybe there can be a clean beginning later on. This is not to say that he should be living in the past, wallowing in the hopes that she'll come back to him. (Been there, done that.)
His words? "I hate you."
To which I retorted: "You only hate me because you know I'm right. And you really love me or you wouldn't be calling me at 3am."
Heh. Hindsight. Always 20/20.